As the relationship is new, the excitement is high, the conversation interesting and passionexcitate. The reality is that as you settle down, the high becomes stale. You both get to be comfortable with each other and they become a big part of you. Truly, this is something to be respected and applauded not to look down upon. Contrarily to popular belief, it takes more than love for a relationship to be long-lasting. In fact, both parties need to put the effort into making the relationship work past the excitement.
When starting off, the nights are glitz and filled with energetic passionate moments. However, work, kids, mortgages, and life, in general, take over after you get to be deeper and more intimate. Believe me, these have a way to put a damper on the passion and lust you had in the beginning. Sometimes we are responsible for bringing boredom into our relationships.
You shouldn’t give way to lack of passion and sex get in the way of building a beautiful life with your partner. Nothing is preventing you from acting like teenagers once in a while to add some spark into your life.
How to keep the spark alive after years of being in a relationship
1. Date each other
The power of date night should never be underestimated. Always make a point to have your schedule open for a nice night out with your spouse. The simplicity of the night out shouldn’t be an issue as long as you enjoy each other’s company.
Here is a list of date-night ideas to consider.
- Make a meal together and enjoy eating it
- Read Shakespeare to one another (or a romantic book you both enjoy)
- Art gallery visit
- Movie/attend a play/ a standup comedy show
- Go dancing/ bar hopping
- Go ice skating.
- Go to a ballet performance
- Go to an open mic
- Create a vision board
- Go for a bonfire
Date-night Q +A
2. Maintain the surprise element in your relationship
The surprise element is one of the greatest ways of adding excitement to any relationship. It can be simple as preparing your spouse favorite meal, buying gifts or flowers, weekend getaway, etc. Just anything pleasant and unexpected. Additionally, giving in relationships is one very important factor. It adds a smile on your partners face and lets them know you appreciate them.
3. Try out something new together
Have the willingness to learn something new as a couple. Help each other continue to grow in it together. If both of you have never engaged in it before, you get something fresh and interesting to look up to. It can be taking golf lessons, volunteering at a homeless shelter, play instruments, or going to a new restaurant for dinner.
People can also seek to accomplish some goals together. Motivate and psyche each other up until your set goal is achieved.
4. Send sweet romantic texts
This is for me especially. Reading always gets to me. Don’t be afraid to send sexy, romantic messages during the day to spice up things. Honestly, it’s a very easy way to keep the romance alive in your relationship. The texts can also express encouragement, love, or admiration.
5. Practice appreciation and acceptance
You can never make a birch tree to be an elm no matter how much you shout. Always accept your partner for who they are and not who you want them to be.
Appreciate your partner. Find things you love about them and focus on these amazing qualities. Speak kind words to one another as words can make and break a person. Additionally, find out the things that irritate you and forgive these things.
6. Give each other space
Most times being in each other’s space 24/7 makes us prick each other. Spending time apart will give each of you time to do things you enjoy without the other breathing down your neck. For example, going out for a girl’s night, fishing, camping with the boys, visiting the folks, etc. Space will make you miss each other and gives you some excitement to be back.
7. Keep your focus on the positive things
As a couple, you should focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and not always on the negative. Focus on what is going on well as this strengthens relationships. If you need to point out the negative, say it in a positive way that isn’t aimed at tearing down your partner.
Don’t forget to be supportive to your partner as well. Emotional support, compliments or praise, and information that they might require. Most importantly, always offer a helping hand when they need it. For instance, doing house chores when they need extra time to study or work.
8. Come up with rituals you do as a couple
Relationships are strengthened by having routine activities that you can do together. For example, you can chat for 10 minutes daily before bed daily. Or you can go for Saturday dates nights weekly.
9. Sex it up or show each other daily physical affection
Physical affection is known to release feel-good hormones, improve your mood, and release stress. It can be as simple as holding hands, kissing, hugging, or even putting a hand over someone’s shoulder. Now everyone knows how important sex is in long term relationships. Don’t shy away from trying out new things in the bedroom. Sexy lingerie, costumes, styles, you know the drill. Loosen things up a bit.
In conclusion, healthy long term relationships just don’t pop up. For them to happen work has to be put in by the significant parties. If the love is still strong, there isn’t any reason keeping you from reigniting the spark. Give it your best and it will all work out.