I don’t know about men so let me talk about women because I am one. It might apply to some men, I don’t know but I would love to hear if it does. Boredom in relationships happens to many of us specifically me to be precise. For those we are in the same boat, you don’t need to feel guilty for getting bored. Just know the reason it happens and do something about it.
Over time, I have learnt that relationships can make you feel like the happiest person on earth. On the other hand, they can spiral around and make you question why you got into one, to begin with. This happens to the best of us so, when the questions come, know you aren’t the only one. Nevertheless, before we blame the other party, it’s only fair to find out why you woke up and discovered that you are just not interested anymore.
Honestly, it’s not easy to be committed and in love the same way forever and ever. I can tell you for sure, that’s not how it is in reality. Yes, you will be in love, but you will also fight, feel aloof, restless or bored at some point. So, what’s the reason behind you being bored? Unless you understand the reason, the boredom cycle will keep on repeating itself. Finally, it will dawn on you that you aren’t able to enjoy a relationship without boredom making an appearance.
From my own experience, I enjoy the passion and excitement at the beginning of a relationship. As long as things are exciting, I am happy. Once the excitement ends, it gets boring. You can read on how bring back excitement into your relationship here. I have listed 9 reasons that make women bored and maybe you can relate to some or all of them. Truth is, if you don’t want to work on a relationship then it’s time to walk out of it.
9 mistakes that create boredom in relationships
1. Sticking to a daily routine
Dr Kristie Overstreet, a psychotherapist and sexologist says that “spicing things up can be as easy as changing up your routine.” Most times sticking to a routine doesn’t let you enjoy a relationship as it’s a monotonous taking away all your chances of spontaneity. At times, sit together and just brainstorm about what to do. You will be surprised at how much fun you can have together when you get out of your routine. Moreover, you not only increase your recreational intimacy but your physical intimacy as well.
2. Romance ending
Romance is the thing that drew you into the relationship in the first place. In the beginning, guys go all out when it comes to romantic gestures. Afterwards, you both get too comfortable and settled with each other that you forget to keep it alive. Of course, you don’t have to be pulling the grand gestures every time to be romantic. The little things also count. A gratitude text message during the day, buying a card when it’s not expected, flowers, dinner and lunch dates, or any other romantic gesture.
3. Too much responsibility in the relationship
Honestly, in long-term relationships, women take too much responsibility compared to their male counterparts. Feeling overwhelmed and bored is easy especially if the responsibilities aren’t shared. Don’t let all the relationship burden be on one person. Offer to do dinner once a week at least. Encourage and support each other all along.
4. Fighting too often
I will speak my truth here… my default reaction to a fight is run. I am fine with the little arguments they somehow keep the relationship exciting. This is only true if the main intention isn’t to bring your partner down or hurt them. Too much of something is poisonous. When you often fighting, the romance ends, the excitement is killed, and you are unhappy most of the time.
Additionally, it might get to a point that you are afraid of communicating because you don’t want another fight. In the long run, you can result in resentment which will kill your relationship.
5. Sacrificing your personal goals
I don’t know what happens when people get into a long-term relationship. You become complacent in your personal development and career. Just because you have settled in your relationship it doesn’t mean you have settled in everything else. Support each other and go after your goals, dreams and aspirations. Life will be much more interesting.
6. Not taking time alone
I always love reminding myself that I am an individual entity separate from the person I am dating. You both need activities out of the relationships to keep you busy. Be it your hobbies, career, friends, activities, etc. besides, a relationship isn’t meant to be a vehicle to rescue you from boredom. When you make another human your entire life, it’s putting too much pressure on them.
Be dependent without losing yourself and love your partner while loving yourself at the same time. This way, you will know you are both individuals and you’ll love exploring what makes you different.
7. Forgetting to flirt
Foreplay doesn’t only happen before doing the ‘deed’. It’s supposed to be in every single interaction moment. So, are you playful with each other? Do you flirt throughout the day? Bring the flirtations back and you will be surprised at how much excitement you will be adding into your life. It’s like a spark.
8. Making assumptions that things are okay
Having an assurance of a long-term relationship doesn’t mean that you should fold your arms and stop working on the relationship. It takes consistency for relationships to remain satisfying to both parties. Regardless of the time you’ve spent together, always think of what you are giving in the relationship. You can’t always be on the receiving end. Be an active part of ensuring the relationship isn’t getting stuck in a rut.
9. Emotional affairs
You might be having an emotional affair with a friend, colleague, neighbour, and you aren’t even aware it’s happening. For instance, you might find it easier to share details about your personal life with someone who isn’t your partner. Unless you open up to your partner, chances of feeling disconnected and bored are high.
In other cases, someone else might excite you and make you long for the mystery they represent. Ignore it even if it makes you feel like your relationship is boring and not as lively. This happens often so don’t feel guilty about it just don’t act on it.
All in all, talk to your partner and work together towards spicing things a bit whenever boredom sets in.