One thing that is not often said is that women are as afraid of committing to a relationship as men are. The girl today is not looking for a meal ticket latching on the first man that smiles her way. Truth is, you are not the first awesome guy she has come across. Honestly, you not going to be the last.
I have confessed before of losing interest in a relationship fast. Another confession is, I fear commitment. Most of the time, once I smell it, I take off… literally. It is not a good trait so we are working through it. However, I have found that some of these reasons contribute to it happening.
There is no magical formula that guarantees that you will make her fall in love and commit to you. The good thing is, there are mistakes you can avoid to increase your chances of this happening.
Nail the first impression
First impressions count and screwing up from the start is not on. Acting totally insecure or overly confident isn’t something you want to show on the get-go. Put some effort to look good and take the pressure off yourself. It might not be obvious immediately but when we sit down and analyze the situation, we’ll be like… Nah! Not gonna happen!
So master up courage, be secure in yourself and while at it don’t be narcissistic.
Start and carry on a great conversation
Have you ever felt the pressure of ensuring a conversation is running on smoothly? Like you are the one in charge of creating a conversation?
I know starting up a conversation is not easy and you might not want to come on too hard. But, please, please, don’t make the girl feel like she has to say something to feel the awkward silence. While you want to stay genuine, it’s fine to come prepared. You approached her, so have some topics that you are well versed on in your back pocket.
You don’t want to get too personal the first time meeting her. Speak of general interesting topics, make her laugh and believe me that alone can open the next door.
Don’t ghost her
I get it, no one wants to look so desperate but, not communicating for a week after the first date is a clear sign that you aren’t interested in the relationship. There is nothing wrong with texting the next day and ask her out on Saturday. Communication is one of the things that make a girl feel secure in your affection and interest.
This doesn’t mean that you go all ballistic on texts and calls it’s creepy. Do things in moderation. If she doesn’t respond after 3 texts… you know where you stand. Silence speaks if you choose to listen.
Avoid being too serious
There is always so much comfort in discovering that a guy is equally as ridiculous or weird as you. So let your guard down, do something goofy together, makes some jokes and she will feel comfortable to be herself around you. Yes, you still need to have a deeper connection than just fun and have some shared values, but life is also about not taking everything so serious.
Make sure the chances of her saying ‘yes’ are high
Find out her expectations and where she thinks the relationship is going. Make sure she is aware you aren’t dating other people as this creates a disconnect in a new relationship. Find out what she wants most from the relationship. If the answer is a good time or a date on holidays, know she isn’t looking for something long term. However, if she says she wants to support, partnership, and a future with you, the reluctance to commit might be as a result to fear. If this is the case you got to prove your commitment.
Bring it up casually
Don’t go overboard when asking a girl to be your girlfriend. Ask in an environment that you are both comfortable in case it goes either way. And never ask in the afterglow of sex. Simply asking, “Hey, I’ve been wondering whether we should date each other exclusively. What do you think?” is okay. This gives her room to give her opinion while still revealing your intentions. You can also say, “When I tell my friends about you, can I call you my girlfriend?” Believe me, you don’t want to be stuck in the middle of a grand gesture with an equally giant ‘no’ over your head.
Take your time
Don’t rush the next step. Girls may take a while to realize that they want to spend a future with you. So, even if you already know you will spend eternity with her, take your time. As long as you both keep growing closer, and moving in the right direction, she will catch on. Give her some breathing space to make her miss you. Space will make her realize how she loves having you around.
Cut the bait
Once you have given it your best and she isn’t ready to commit to the relationship, be sure she will bail when the going gets tough. You should end your relationship and find someone willing to be with you. Holding on can eventually leave you bitter with her and poison you against the entire female race. Here are some more signs that tell you it’s time to move on from a relationship.
Women too can have the ‘commitment phobia’ and have many reservations so she will need your reassurance and support to overcome the jitters. Don’t give up on her if she is the right one for you. I am sure she is worth waiting for.
